Repressed feelings take a toll on our nervous system; it impacts the energy of our physical bodies and causes the inner mind to race. The consensus that we are made to suffer or be heartbroken for the sake of learning can create an identity to the idea that this world is a school for hard knocks.
Learning about selfless love, I realized no one is expected to be pained. Everything is truly neutral, and it is our choice to energize our decisions and experiences however we feel.
What if I told you your life is not meant to be a battle? It is not about being a “bigger person.” It is about understanding your conditioned beliefs and changing them through self-love. If you feel angry, do not repress this because that depletes the physical experiences you share inside yourself and with others.
Recently, though it was not unconditional when this occurred, I held an internal conversation with those who helped contribute to my younger years' low self-esteem. I took what they said to me as very personal and internalized it to the point it created anger and self-loathing in me. Children are impressionable. We do not see things as black or white when younger energy is at play. Our dreams are very susceptible to those that we trust and help to teach us as beings.
Settling scores or being right might feel best, but that suggests a person is caught in feeling unheard. Every being wants: heard, seen, safe, and loved. We do not want to feel insecure or unacknowledged. The planet is undergoing a substantial and encumbered change. Teaching youth to be kinder requires us to stay within ourselves.
People say and do things based on how they feel. If folks cannot see this for themselves, many immature connections continue to foster ill will toward one another. I do not pretend to have this all understood because I do not, but I know what the poison of self-disfunction can do to a person.
Living in a fight-or-flight response long term can cause a lot of disruption. The body is a vehicle and a friend, but it can feel like a betrayal when it fails. I walked for many years in the unconscious mind. I was restricted by unhealthy emotional imprints and energies, which targeted my heartache. Over the last five years, there has been a quiet call for me to decide how I want to live. I felt the importance of change inside me. I explored those options and shared them every chance I could. Slowly, I redeveloped to a degree, but until recently, I did not see the full scope of how I felt.
I recognized I was conditioned to believe I was not loveable unless I was well-behaved, which stopped me from trusting and being myself. Healing conditions like these can be tricky because when individuals are distracted by what is happening outside of them or how others treat them, they have difficulty realizing they cannot see the forest for the trees. The world is generally taught to self-soothe through deflection or blaming others for their unhealthy choices. Essentially, it is a vibration of being a victim. Painful memories and ill intentions can break us into segments of our natural selves.
In 2008, a change occurred for me. I started a slow and humbling transition that emerged from the depths of my soul. Over time, my life changed to a new expression of healthier feelings. It was a long road, but there was never a time that I felt like giving up completely. I felt the truth building inside me. I took the steps necessary to determine how deterring I can be about life change.
My best advice, be honest with yourself, but not uncaring. Take each day at a time, trust in how you feel, and show up for yourself in self-empowering ways. Treat others well because that is how we genuinely invest as spiritual beings but understand you are NOT a punching bag for those around you. Keep yourself inside your body, revisit the energies of your physical being, and cleanse yourself often. Stay neutral, start a plan to be at rest with how things appear, and let your intuition guide a new path or navigate a different vibration.
This is your finest story and the ONLY life you will get, so be willing to respond to what happens without being caught up in your emotional energy. Once you see how you treat yourself and understand your patterns, you can deliver a new version of how you wish to feel. Take the process of change slow, be deliberate in how you live, and learn to trust the dance.
Anger is a powerful emotion. I wish to share a quote a therapist offered a client about how people process their hurt.
“Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment and abuse are unacceptable. Your anger knows you deserve to be treated well and with kindness. Your anger is part of you that LOVES you.”
The choice to repress my frustration and anger was slowly sabotaging my well-being. Although it still reached the surface and spilled out over many of my relationships. Life does not need to be complicated. Teaching others how to feel their pain has taught me to decipher mine. Many feel unsafe, and when people struggle with emotional damage, they seek others out to vent their hurt. Remember, we are all products of our conditioning. That said, we still can right the ship.
Remain grounded, try to unearth those painful feelings holding you in a stuck position, feel them inside yourself, and sense those emotions preventing you from seeing how magnificent you are as a being. Try to be patient with yourself, be kinder, and above all, be compassionate. It is more critical you fall in love with yourself rather than make others see you for those beautiful qualities you carry.
We all have a choice to live freely, but when we victimize ourselves and give our power back to a memory or bury things for future use, we do a disservice to our lives. We are learning the power of forgiveness; start with being forgiving of yourself, and let yourself love yourself. The world is awaiting you to fall in love with yourself. Healing works best when there is allowing over trying. Stop trying so hard; see how you might need to step back or sense your issues. Take time to care deeply about your body and overall well-being unconditionally.
I am writing this entry to complete my self-care process and encourage anyone uncomfortable with how they feel to address what is happening as calmly and lovingly as possible. Understand your thoughts and beliefs, and let go of anything restrictive for healing. It is never about serving others by forsaking ourselves; it is about authentically caring about who we are as divine individuals and embracing our life.
All my love,